Love is a renegade word

One month since my last post. In that time, I have continued to attend art festivals such as Galveston Food & Wine Festival. The travel schedule can be a little intense and I am resting today. Resting in bed, my favourite place from where to write a blog.

Rarely am I resting in bed with nothing to do. I am taking some time off. There is no end to what needs to be done and I am not doing it today. I am thinking about things today. I am thinking about love.

In this year, I have reflected on what love really means. What does it mean? I have concluded it is a highly dangerous word because it can have a great range of meaning. For some it can mean something light, for others heavy. Some people were raised with it being said in their homes, others were not. Some are comfortable around the word, others wish they were.

Love is a renegade word. I looked up the definition of renegade. As a noun, it means 1. a person who deserts and betrays an organization, country, or set of principles. As an adjective, 1. having treacherously changed allegiance. I am beginning to think of the word love as shifting, disloyal, inappropriate. It is not the true meaning of the word that is any of these things. Love is pure. It is in the naming of this underlying meaning that the word love loses its confidence and I think I am going to let it go.

What is love? What does it mean to you? I am the kind of person who pretty much loves everyone. Some people I love more than others. To these others, it means I care deeply and will make active choices to support their best lives. As far as I know that’s all. Ok, throw in some loyalty, honesty, kindness – but these things are beginning to describe themselves. They may be a part of love. I suppose love is a feeling but it is also a choice because feelings fluctuate. When I love someone, especially dearly, I make a choice to care for their life.

What is in love? I suppose that is a feeling, too, but feelings fluctuate. The best romances know how to rekindle feelings of being in love even after many years. It can be rekindled but I wonder if few know how. When I am in love, it means I really like being around that person. I enjoy their company. It does not mean to me crazy chemistry. I have little patience or use for that anymore. It is like a meeting of minds that can be both highly wonderful and destructive and leave both parties confused with what has happened between them.

Love and in love. One caring deeply, the other enjoying immensely the company of another. That is me. It is all I have. It is all I would want to have. I believe one of the best things we can do in life is to know ourselves, to know ourselves with our original essence.

Awareness is key. Awareness is a great key to life. These are some of the things I have been mulling over, of late. Thank you for being here. It is good to be writing again. I’m going to lose the word love but not the sentiment behind it. I don’t need to attach a label to its definition. What I want is to know it, to perhaps sometimes describe it. In its complexity I think it is more beautiful, it is more individual. Each of us can describe what we mean and we can begin to experience a new beauty of the sentiment and not a blanket word that means too many things.

Not love 🙂
c.s.