Me: I feel like I’m aging.
Someone else: Camille, we’re all getting older every day.
Different conversation ..
Someone else: You live in fantasy, you don’t always live in reality.
Me (thinking to myself): That makes sense .. I prefer it that way.
Oh, I have missed writing my blog. I have missed my readers and communicating with you. I have so much going on, I don’t know where to start. The writer inside my head has been silent, lately. Silent enough I have not felt I could complete a blog. My thoughts have not been focused enough. Christmas added more things to do. It was pleasant, though. Two people I talked with today each said independently of one another, “I am so glad it’s over.” One said she was ready to get back into her rut. That was a funny way to put it .. still makes me smile.
Maybe I am ready to be in a rut. I want simplicity, dependability, peacefulness .. those are my focus points for this year. There will be my rut and I hope to get stuck in it for a long, long time.
I’ve been sitting on some things, waiting to write about them. Once my thoughts are complete, the writer will be with me once again. I am journaling, this year. Slowing my life. Catching my breath. Slow is good. I am more peaceful with slow, I am happier. I know my boundaries. I want no more days of senseless stress. Life in my life is not hard. Warfare in Africa is hard. I don’t need to make any problems for myself. My life is not hard.
In 2014, I will begin a second blog titled, “Character of Texas.” It will include portraiture and personal stories.” I interview people all the time. Those willing to share their stories publicly will be in my blog.
I am giving away a painting. Instructions are on the Facebook page: The art of c.s.ellington. As always, I want to thank those who have encouraged and supported my art. I am going forward in this year aiming for simplicity. I am going forward in this year with a trust that everything is going to be alright. Everything is already alright.
Clive, my youngest child, asked to go roller skating yesterday. I thought to myself, “Oh, really .. really on this day that is like twenty degrees??” I avoided the impending roller skating for about twenty minutes or maybe two hours. Late in the afternoon, I took Clive roller skating through the sidewalk corridors of our apartment. It was the highlight of my day, even in the cold, even though my body is not built for cold.
We smiled, we had fun together. My phone stayed home. It was just us. What a pleasure. Simplicity, this year, will include leaving my phone behind more often. I want to go back in time, I want to reclaim a more old-fashioned life. That said, I am moving forward to more marketing of my art online. I hope to find balance.
Life post-concussion, my head aches a little bit. Here is another part of a conversation I had recently:
Me: I feel like part of my brain died.
Someone else: Camille, part of your brain did die. That’s what a concussion is.
Balance, simplicity, the ebb and flow, the daily routines. I can hardly say I’ve ever had that but I want to find it in this year. I made steps toward that last year. I made changes, three changes last year that make this the perfect year for that to happen. At the beginning of last year I read, “If something causes you to to be continuously stressed and depressed, let it go and set yourself free.” Three changes. I have been working toward today and a more peaceful life.
Thank you for reading my blog. I wish for you much happiness in 2014.