And then, one day, I felt better. A lot better.
There is a girl in me five years younger that came back yesterday, I had stopped looking for her for I thought she had long since disappeared. It has been surprising and heartwarming and she is still here today. I am here to tell you your younger self still lives, even in physical form and I encourage you to make the choices that will find her.
I don’t know how many times I had to hear that alcohol is a depressant to really believe it. Going alcohol-free for a time is causing me to approach life with more clarity and confidence in the decisions I am making. I was never an alcoholic but as the days go by I am facing life very directly and not allowing alcohol to soften or interfere with any of my feelings. Maybe you have to be at the bottom of the ocean to see that light clearly, but it is a light that is there, nonetheless, for anyone to seek.
As far as I know, we have just one time around on this earth. I’m interested in making the most of it and I’m quite certain you are, too. And even if you’re not certain now, I’m guessing your younger self was. At times, life knocks us down and we reach for things that soften the pain. It has been said that the same things that ease the pain cloud the judgement. I’m not willing to risk that anymore. There is so much life to live!
WHAT IF, as a collective group, we eased up on alcohol consumption? WHAT IF we communicated more and self-medicated less? WHAT IF we trusted in incremental steps remembering the next person we fall in love with is not the previous person? WHAT IF we dared to live larger? Dared to take risks despite knowing we could get hurt? WHAT IF we found it worth the reward to risk opening our hearts again not only to a love interest but to the world before us including our families? WHAT IF we allowed those we care about … in?
There are any number of things that can be used to self-medicate and I’m nearly as leery of excessive television consumption as alcohol consumption. Let’s not escape life, let’s live life. There’s more room there to live a life. It’s time to make time for others but it’s also time to make time for ourselves. When was the last time you had enough space for you in your own life? What if you stopped leaning on the crutch that is “helping you” and decide to stand on your own two feet? I promise they are strong enough to hold you. The crutch is not helping; it is an illusion.
I believe in your strength; I belive in the collective strength we share and that we are not in this life alone but together. Alcohol is a liar, fear is a liar. Any abuse of alcohol is not making things better, it’s making things worse.
Easy to see from the bottom of the ocean but not everyone has to go there.