art, artist, c.s.ellington, happiness, wellness

Right where I am Intended to be. And so are You.

Raggio di Sole

I’m sitting at my computer, again, and I feel like a writer again. I cancelled internet at home several months ago. I called back two weeks later because I had changed my mind, wanted to resubscribe and I was told the charge would be nearly double. They said I had been grandfathered in, before. I told them I had only had internet for eight months, how could I have been grandfathered in? They didn’t care.

I borrowed internet from my neighbor a little bit. He is a student across the hall. A super polite baseball player at Angelina College. But then he cancelled his internet, too. I’ve been using my phone for internet, which is not a big deal, but there are things I am not getting done that I otherwise would.

That said, there are also things I am getting done that, for a time, had been undone. I’m reading again. I only use my phone for internet for a few minutes at a time and my time now has more wide open space for the pursuit of books I have been well-intentioned about reading. I’m reading a book, right now, titled Every Day a Friday, by Joel Osteen. It is my first experience with Joel Osteen. I don’t watch tv and I have never heard him speak. I’m liking the book, it could not be more positive. It is speaking my language!

Honestly, I don’t always know what day of the week it is, anyway, but the point of the book is being happy every day. It says that studies show that most people are happier on Fridays. I suppose that’s true. Many people are in jobs that are like a trap for their lives. Many people are working for the weekends, when they are finally free.

I am about half way through the book. It has a yellow cover, is entirely cheery and I like to read it every day. Bits of wisdom I will share with you from this book:

* Happiness depends on how a mind is arranged.
* Happiness is about the beauty of our surroundings, the quality of our culture and, above all, the strength of our relationships.
* We create much of our own unhappiness. We look at what we don’t have rather than what we do have.
* When dark clouds are over your head and you feel like life is depressing and gloomy, always remember that right above those dark clouds the sun is shining.
* The difficulties you face are not there to defeat you. They are there to increase you.

I am not opposed to hourly work and there is a chance I will be moving to Nacogdoches, Texas and pursuing just that. It is a possibility I am intrigued by. I can see a little life, a simple life, a huge life, but one that is rather quite simple, yet adventurous. Hmmm. Time will tell. There is a saying: adventure may hurt you but monotony will kill you. There is a simple life in my future, one that has some predictability and one that has variety and adventure. I am creating with intention what I see in my future and the future of my children.

The year without internet has brought blessings I am so pleased with. I have spent more time in quiet, more time thinking, slowing down, feeling my feelings, knowing my wishes. Last year, I worked hard. I was in something of a panic, at times, concerned, worried some, peaceful some. Filling too many hours of the day trying to figure everything out. This year I began asking myself, what if things go undone?

Things have gone undone, this year. I have trusted more in the providential nature of God. I have trusted that somehow things are going to be okay, better than ok. I have trusted that it is not only my actions that bring abundance, that abundance on many levels has more to do with our nature and nurture than its dependence upon our efforts.

Somehow, I am right where I am intended to be. And so are you.

c.s.

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